...road to Oz...

On the way home (to my parents house) in Kansas, there is this sign on the road the they live on that says, "Road To Oz". I never really even thought that it was funny or even really out of the ordinary. See...if you keep going on that road, there is a Wizard of Oz museum so, it's sort of fitting.

And THEN...I brought Trent home for the first time. And he about had a heart attack. Just on a side note: I NEVER heard a Wizard of Oz joke until I moved here. (I can't even count the times I've been asked where ToTo is.)

So, changing the subject a little bit--last night it was BEAUTIFUL out. So we sat out on the porch almost all evening. And of course..it reminded me of home. Being around lots of family, and even when family wasn't there, SOMEBODY was always stopping by. My dad saying, "Who the %*&$ is here now?! But then talking them for hours."

Home is like: your first pet, your first love, the songs your grandma used to sing to you....everytime I think about these things, my heart breaks, just a little bit. Sometimes its just a good memory, sometimes its sad, and sometimes I miss it.

There's no place like home.

Exercise is NOT fun.

-This Saturday I woke up bright and early (errr...10:00a.m) and decided to go on a jog. Granted, by this time it was REALLY hot, but I ran for what seemed like 3 hours, then I got home and realized it was only 30 minutes. Ok, whatever. So anyway, later that day Trent decided it would be fun to go rollerblading and I thought it would be fun too. And the first part (the downhill part) was pretty fun. Then on the way back....we had to go back UP the hill. Not so fun. Did I mention, it was really REALLY hot? Then we decided to go jump in the pool, which also seemed like a good idea, until I had this great idea that we would have swimming races. "3 forms of exercise in 1 day...is very healthy, athletic, good for you, ridiculous, tiring, and makes me want sit right here on the couch the rest of the night:) I think next weekend I'll stick with LAYING by the pool :)

One Day....

I always feel like I can relate to this song SO WELL. Because sometimes I get so wrapped up in all the mistakes I've made, wrong choices, disappointed people, hurt people, and just plain screwed up. You know that feeling when you feel.....{ } this big? I DO!
But the great thing is that, I can't "over-use" God's grace. He forgives me EVERY TIME, the SAME WAY. He keeps walking with me, and when I fall..."He knows I am but dust". I think sometimes, "Will I ever arrive at the point where I stop screwing things up?" and I realized last night....that 'no', I won't! Not in this lifetime anyway..nobody will "arrive" at perfection on this side of Heaven..and that's ok :)

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in
the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain,
wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don't fit in and I don't
feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the
arms of Christ ‘cause
I'M FORGIVEN

What Makes You.....

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? What makes you feel good? What are the things that you can't live without?

But what if you were asked to live without those things that you "CANT" live without? Would you still be happy, smile, and feel good? Would you be able to?

I have been learning a lot in the past year or so about "being happy". And I'm learning that my circumstances don't have to control my attitude.

Someone that has continued to remind me of this is Jessica Johnson. For those of you who don't know her, check out her blog! http://prayforjohnsonfamily.wordpress.com/ She goes to my church, she's a mom of two ADORABLE kids, but I never knew who she was until her adored husband was dignosed with cancer, and went to Heaven earlier this year. HOWEVER, I want to be respectful and not introduce her as "lady who lost her husband", because that is not true. She is a friend to many, a daughter, a mom, a sister, and most importantly, a child of a God who she loves. She also just happens to have different set of circumstances than many.

Every time I read her blog I'm blown away by her decisions to CHOOSE joy. I could go on about different examples, but I'll let you read for yourself!

I'm realizing and learning, that sometimes days or weeks come along that are...hard, heartbreaking, disappointing, or just don't go the way we planned. I'm learning that during these days I have to FIND things to be thankful for. FIND the good things that ARE there, but that I just overlook. But no matter what your day looks like, no matter what your life looks like, no matter how high the mountain may look...there is always SOMETHING to be thankful for. Jessica is proving that to me. If she can face her circumstances and still CHOOSE joy, surely we can too.

A Dad's Love

Every time I hear this song, it reminds me of my dad. He loves all of us kids so much and a big way that he shows it is by fixing our bikes, our cars, our sinks, our doors, our heaters, our tables...and everything else that might break. I have never seen anything, that my dad couldn't fix!! I say, "I love you" and this is how he says it back...


He checked the air in my tires
The belts and all the spark plug wires
Said "When's the last time
"You had this oil changed"
And as I pulled out the drive
He said "Be sure and call your mom sometime"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"

120,000 miles
Six years down the road
A brand new life and a brand new wife
We'd just bought our first home
When he finally came to visit
I thought he'd be so proud
He never said he liked the place
He just got his tool belt out

And put new locks on the doors
Went back and forth to the hardware store
Said "Come and hold this flashlight"
As he crawled beneath the sink
And "These old wires ain't up to code"
And "That circuit box is gonna overload"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how

Last Sunday, we all gathered
For his 65th birthday
And I knew he'd stiffen up
But I hugged him anyway
When it was finally time to say goodbye
I knew what was next
Just like he always does
Right before we left

I'll Stand By You

To start off, I appologize in advance, this is yet another post about my husband. Since I don't have kids to write about, and my job either isn't that exiting (or I can't write about it because of HIPPA), Trent and our house is what is left! :)

On my way to work today I flipping through radio stations and started listening to a song on...I don't know what station, something my mom would listen to lol. But whatever song it was said, "You can't confess anything that will make me love you less. I'll stand by you." And my first thought was, ya that's what I'd do for Trent. But then I thought in reality, thats what he does for me. Sure, I'd like to think that I'm a good person and good wife, but lets face it. Trent is better. I don't ever even know how to refer to him, except that he is a "good man". And he is. I have done alot to push him, hurt him, make him mad, even probably make him leave me if he wanted to. But he hasn't. And every time I "confess" something to him (no matter what it is) it "doesn't make him love me less". He forgives and forgets.

Our first year of marriage was pretty rough and if Trent didn't have this quality and honestly don't know if we would have made it. So...GUYS: Be like my husband! GIRLS: If you find a guy like this, hold on to him like crazy, because they are rare!!

"Somebody STOP me!"

Ever since we moved in to our new house I've felt torn between "I want my house to look nice NOW" and...well...our bank account. I promised myself that I was not going to just slap paint on the walls and then throw pictures up (which, yes, is what I usually end up doing). But, I also promised myself that I wasn't going to pay full price for anything to decorate at a "real store". Meaning I'm sticking to places like Big Lots, craigslist, garage sales, the Habitat Re-Store, and I've even attempted a few Good Will projects. So far it's worked pretty well, and I've been especially proud of the things I've gotten at Good Will and with a coat of paint, have looked good!
However, even with my frugal attitude I still feel guilty. Even if I'm buying things for half price off craigslist, it's STILL costing money and still adds up if I go crazy. Trent reminded me this week that its going to take awhile for this place to look "put together". I'm so thankful for him! But then tonight, I was in Big Lots and I found this pictures (that was 1\2 price) and I stood there and looked at for probably 20 minutes telling myself, "Its a good deal and will look perfect in the living room," then..."You've spent enough money this week on 'home' stuff, just put it back". I even almost asked an Army guy that was also looking at pictures if he thought it was worth it. So in the end....I bought it. And felt good about getting a good deal....for about 5 minutes. Then I felt guilty again. And the words, "SOMEBODY STOP ME!" came to mind. I think its from the movie 'The Mask'?
I want this place to look 'together' so bad...but my husband is right. It's just going to take awhile, and that's ok! :)